Un-American Tap Room
I’ve been sitting on this bit of a rant for a while now, but when a coworker mentioned American Tap Room on the way out the door yesterday, I just had to let it rip.
A few weeks back my wife recommended American Tap Room to meet my brother and friend prior to a concert that they were going to attend that evening. She had never been there, but knowing me and the fact that the place had “tap room” in it’s name, she immediately suggested the restaurant. Little did she know how my patience and affinity for quality beer would be put to the test that evening.
American Tap Room is Not a Tap Room.
“Your honor, I present to the court people’s exhibit #001, the beer menu. Or at least, I would present it if THERE WAS ONE.
“I’m sorry your honor for that outburst.
“Yes sir, it won’t happen again.
“Moving along. I’d like to call my first witness. I call to the stand the poor young woman who served as our waitress. Ma’am, can you tell me what beers your establishment has on tap in its bar?
“Ma’am?
“Can I take your blank stare as an indication that you don’t know what beers you have on tap? Your honor, I can only assume that the list of beers for said tap room is vast enough to stymie this young lady’s ability to recall even just one. I present to the court exhibit #002 — the list of beers it took myself and my brother 15 minutes and 2 waiters to compile.”
- Bud Light
- Budweiser
- Bass
- Coors Light
- Magic Hat #9
- Sam Adams Lager
- Miller Lite
- Widmer Hefeweizen
- Yuengling Lager
- Blue Moon
- Guinness
- Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
“As you can see your honor, aside from Guinness, Sierra Nevada and Magic Hat, the above beers can be found in just about any chain restaurant in the fine state of Virginia — and a good portion of the hemisphere, as well. I say that it is far from American to include the words “tap room” in the title of your eating establish when in fact your ARE NOT a tap room!
“In closing, your honor, I will not frequent American Tap Room again in the future. And further more would request that said establishment increase the variety of their beer selection or forfeit the right to use said moniker.
“Thank you.”
A moment of clarity
As you can see from the delusional scenario above, I was a bit distraught and disappointed in American Tap Room. To that end, let me state that the food was above average and the service was very friendly and professional. When you live in a growing area like my own, you hope for a good beer friendly establishment to pop up, so you can imagine my horror to find such a paltry list of beers at a restaurant selling itself as a purveyor of malty refreshments.
And, yes, I know that a tap room is simply a bar, but in this age of increasing awareness of craft beers, the words have a whole new meaning as a place to find those specialty brews that are otherwise near impossible to find. In the least the latest incarnation of the modern tap room has more than 12 taps, hopefully expanding beyond mass produced commercial brands.